Newborn and Family Pictures :)

One of the funnest things we did that first week with Graham was take pictures!! We knew we wanted  to do it soon after he was born, and while Ash and Mom were there to help. So these all happened when he was 4 days old! Still a fresh little guy! 

He is such a good baby, very content and happy :) 

Look at those cuddles! He's the best little cuddle buddy! 

He likes to show us his silly faces...he does the crossed eyed thing ALL the time! Haha! Poor little guy can't focus very well yet. 

And yes I love his little cry :) 

First Week with Graham!

Ahhh, having a newborn is the best! I have always love, love, looooved babies. But newborns just grab hold of every heart string you got. There is seriously nothing like a fresh, brand new, tiny little baby. Maybe that's it. They are just so little! And they smell good. Like, I want to eat them. But instead I kiss them like crazy :) 

I can't believe I grew this:

I mean look at him!!!! He is so beautiful!! Aside from the fact that he is beyond adorable, his little spirit is what captivates me the most. When I look at him, all I see is life. Graham is so innocent and he is the sweetest thing on earth. He is capable of anything and he has so much ahead of him! It's so neat to experience these feelings of being a parent! 

Now here is what our first week or so was like having Graham with us:

It's been so fun getting to know him! Learning what makes him sad and what makes him happy. The list of things that make him upset isn't too long, but there is a one big thing that makes him very happy. Eating! :) Look at him, he has such a little body! He didn't quite fill in his newborn size onesies that first week. So cute! 

His first little photo shoot after we brought him home from the hospital! We did good that first night! Since then I still haven't caught up on my sleep...and part of me thinks that I won't for a while. Me not being a good napper doesn't help either! Graham probably gets up about 3 times during the night to eat. He doesn't cry unless there is something that he needs, and I am so grateful for that! He is such a good baby! Very content and happy! 

First little grin captured on film! We all just about died!

Graham had a little bit of jaundice, and he was due for an appointment a couple days after we left the hospital. He had such a hard time getting his heel pricked before (she had to use both heels) that we figured he didn't deserve more hospital time. So we spent some good time in the sun with him, for an at home light therapy session. Aw look at Nonni! Those motherly instincts at work :)

By the way Seattle, thank you for letting the sun in that entire week! It was beautiful! 

Now it was time to try out all our fun baby stuff we had been staring at for 9 months! Including the mustache collection! So funny!  

Lots of cuddling :) Those two were instantly pals. Love my boys.

Graham having his first bath from Nonni! He didn't seem to hate the water at first, but he was very unhappy about being naked! Still is haha. He prefers showers to baths, but he's very content if he has his passie. And he's taken very well to his passie! It's so nice to have when he's upset. It really calms him down. Although he's not super good at keeping it in. I'm guessing that it's because his mouth isn't quite strong enough yet. Hopefully he catches on soon! For now we are either holding it in for him, or he holds it in on is own! He is learning so fast!! 

Oh and he also peed on himself during his bath. We got it on video. Win! 

Speaking of which, OH my lanta the poop! This little guy went through so many diapers in just one week. We found ourselves out of diapers before we knew it! He is also very good at managing to pee on himself, probably every other diaper change. Himself, or the lucky one who gets to change him :) Okay maybe not that much, but it seriously happens all the time! And his blowouts are pretty frequent too. His poop isn't that stinky yet, but it does make a mess and I am constantly doing laundry! 

I probably asked my Mom about a thousand questions those first couple of days! She helped me so much! There were times where I felt stressed out and she saved me from a couple meltdowns. I felt like I knew babies, and I had a lot of exposure to them growing up. So I was very confident in how I would be able to take care of him. But no matter how much you know about babies, there are things you just don't know too. Especially when it's your own. Your not just babysitting, you're the parent! It's a whole new experience, and you have to remember that. 

Take breastfeeding for instance, the first couple of days were kind of rough. We had been doing a good job at feeding but we were far from being pro's. My milk hadn't come in fully yet, and Graham was still learning how to latch. The two combined made it kind of hard for me emotionally, and I was always worried about him getting getting enough to eat. There was this one time where he didn't eat for almost 5 hours and he was so mad! I knew he was so hungry and I felt stupid for not getting him to eat earlier. I had tried but he didn't seem interested, so I figured he wasn't hungry. But I had let it go too far by accident. I tried to get him to calm down so he could eat, but he would not have it. He was still new at breast feeding and so was I. We couldn't get it to work. So of course he got even more frustrated, on top of being so hungry! It was the saddest thing I have seen in a long time. It broke my heart, and I was trying everything I could to get something in him! Eventually Steve took him for a while to calm him, and I just broke down. My Mom came in and reassured me that he was okay, and we managed to get some food in him. Enough to calm down and latch on to finish eating. It was rough, but we got through it! I was so emotional because this was something I didn't expect. I automatically assumed that I wasn't doing a good job and the fact that Graham wasn't eating, kind of scared Steve and I. But ya know, it's just one of those things that you learn along the way, you can't beat yourself up over it! And of course that doesn't mean your a bad parent! But I learned that the love for our baby is beyond what I could have imagined. And that makes me a good parent! :)

Since then breast feeding has been great! My milk came in all the way the next day, and he was so much more satisfied! It was crazy! All the sudden he was more full, and he was also learning to latch on better! Isn't that cool think about? At 4 days old he was already capable of learning?? And I could see it happening right before my eyes! I thought that was neat :) Now we both really got a handle on this nursing deal, and he eats a ton!

I knew that having kids meant taking a longer time to get ready and head out the door. But ummm it takes forever. I have to set my internal clock a whole hour back so that I'm actually on time for things! Haha! We had made a few trips with Graham that first week. Doctor visits, grocery store trips, and walks. He didn't hate his car seat for the most part! But when he was hungry he definitely wanted out :)

It surprised me how often people want to see your baby when your out in public! Just in those few trips that we made there was at least one person who was interested at taking a peek in the covered car seat. The first time it happened, we were at Costco and the nice lady at the door wanted to take a peek. But she kind of just went for it without getting a confirmation from me. It shocked me that my protective instincts flared up for a split second! Both Ashley and I tensed up for a moment, but all the lady did was lift up the corner of the cover a bit and it was completely fine. I was going to lift it up myself to let her see him because she seemed like a good person, but she just did it and I was a little peeved by that. But I'm happy that he made her day because she loved him! It melts my heart that Graham can give that effect on people!

We were also able to share him with visitors! We had friends from our church that came and brought us dinners! How sweet! I got so excited every time someone came over!! I loved sharing Graham with our friends! 

This is just hilarious. This is his little "milk drunk" expression. 

Steve playing with his little boy! 

Dominos and a baby :) what could be better! These two are in heaven!  

Graham is so tired all the time! How precious! 

On our first walk together! We took family pictures while out on our walk, and they turned out so cute!! Great job to our photographer, Mom! 

These two are amazing. They did so much for Steve and I! Having them here was perfect, and I'm so grateful that we were able to have it that way! They cleaned, made dinner, and helped take care of Graham. All the while I was getting used to having a baby and a new life. I couldn't have done it without them! Plus it wouldn't have been as fun :) Absolutely love them!

Graham had a pretty small umbilical cord left on which was nice. It fell off a little over a week after being born. I was so excited! It was like, a little milestone that Graham had conqoured! I do have to admit though, I was kind of sad! It meant that he was growing, and his "brand new-ness" was wearing away. How silly right? But it was good a thing that it fell of when it did! It was starting to get so stinky! 

Ta-da! Brand new belly button! 

These two were joined at the hip! There's nothing like having your twin love on your baby. Ashley adores him! She wanted to help as much as she could and it was so cute! Gosh she's been going through all this new baby business with me, she will be an expert on when she has her own baby! Lucky! 

It's so funny, Graham always seems to sneeze on Ashley! Haha! Funny enough, the first thing Graham did when she held him for the first time, right after he was born, was sneeze on her! And he has kept it up ever since. 

Can you believe this hair? We were always talking about it and playing with it! It's so long and soft! It goes way curly when it's wet, but then dries out straight. We of course had to mohawk it. But it instantly went curly even with product in it!! So this was the best we could get for now. Doesn't he look suave? He's going be a lady killer for sure. 

Another walk with "auntie mommy". Haha! Totally works right! 

This first week our lives changed. It changed so much and all so fast! We love all the changes, the lack of sleep, diaper messes and everything that comes with having Graham in our lives. 

My Labor Experience: Part 3

I felt really good about pushing for the first bit, and I was very confident! I figured he was going come out easy and quickly. Since I had my crazy strong contractions behind me to help push him out. Boy was I wrong! I can say without a doubt, that what I experienced next was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  

Pushing became more difficult the longer I went at it. I had to draw more focus than I anticipated to this task. I tried really hard but he seemed to want to stay put! He was still very low and he was close to coming out, but it was hard to get past that point. 

This was like nothing that I have ever experienced before! The pressure that I felt before got stronger during each contraction. I could also feel the epidural wearing off a bit. Which was a good thing because it helped me feel those urges even stronger.  But I still can't believe the force that is behind those contractions!

I was giving it 100% of my focus! But things just didn't seem to be going as quickly as I thought. So we just kept pushing. Time seemed to stand still. I had no idea how long we had been going, but I wasn't thinking about that. I just wanted him out!

I don't remember how things changed so quickly after that first bit of pushing, but things got real. I started pushing as hard as I could. I don't think he was much closer to coming out, but something switched in my brain that sent into the most determined mode I have ever been in! My Mom was there counting down from 10 during each push and she was amazing! I responded so well to her coaching me. She fed me water in between pushes, and reminded me to breath deeply. Looking at her, I could tell she was just as focused as I was haha! Steve held my hand most of the time, and then passed that job along to Mom or Ash so he could get ready to catch Graham when the time came. They were all giving me great feedback about how I was doing, but not so much about him being close yet. Come on, anytime!

After a while I was getting so exhausted. I wasn't getting much air, since I had been breathing hard for so long. I thought my head was about to explode, but I didn't let that cause me to push any less. I was giving it all of my energy! It got to the point where I was going out of consciousness for little bit. That kind of freaked my family out. But Laura had me take a break for a couple contractions to regain some energy.

Once my break was over I was even more dedicated than ever before! I was giving it all I had! I have never been so concentrated on anything in my entire life! Every fiber in my entire body was geared to pushing this baby out! I think my adrenaline was at an all time high, and part of me thinks I went a little crazy. Finally, I saw Ashley's face light up and she said he was starting to come out and he had hair!! Tons of it! Nurses started pouring in and end was close!

Once I knew this, there was no way was I holding back any more energy!  If I thought I was giving it my all before, I was wrong. This was when I realized I had something in me that is special. A feeling of sacrifice that I was more than willing to give! Annnnd thats's when I turned purple and broke a couple blood vessels in my face.

There was a lot of noise now. With nurses talking, my family excitedly giving me updates, and my midwife telling me to push! I could tell that he was almost out! And then...

Just like that, he was here!!! After a whopping 17 hours of labor. He was the most beautiful thing I have seen in my life! Covered in vernix and all :) 

Steve was able to catch Graham and deliver him the rest of the way out, and they placed him on me right away! I have never cried so hard in my entire life. I held him on me and touched his face and just couldn't believe it! Hearing him cry for the first time was so incredible! I didn't know what real joy felt like until now. The love started pouring in instantly and it was nothing I could have expected! I was so emotionally and spiritually taken by this experience. Completely taken, and this little angel had stolen my heart! This moment really was like heaven. Truly. 

After all my hard work he was finally here, and it happened so quickly it seemed. Turns out I had been pushing for 2 hours! I had no idea it took that long. But I did know that it took everything I had emotionally and physically to deliver him, and the reward was unlike anything I could have ever imagined. 

Steve came over moments after delivering him and he just fell in love with this little guy too! We were both so happy! We were a little family now!

He stayed with me for a couple minutes while I just cried and cried. After a little while, they took him to the other side of the room to get cleaned off and weighed. Laura got to work stitching me so fast, I didn't even notice it at all! Fine by me! I watched while Steve Facetimed his parents and my family at the same time (my Mom holding phones in both hands haha!) introducing them to our new little guy! And they all just adored him. How amazing that we could share that moment with them! We are so lucky with technology these days!

Graham Bradley Smith :) Born October 27th. 7 lbs 13 oz, and 20.5 inches long and a very healthy baby boy! Being born is rough business! Poor little guy totally came out with a cone head haha! 

This auntie worked hard! She's so proud! 

I did not know how much I could love this man until he held his boy for the first time. I felt like my heart was going to burst!  

I love this. My Mom is amazing! 

My turn again :) 

He didn't cry much at all after he got all cleaned up. We just hugged, kissed, and loved on this brand new little person. After we finished Facetiming our families we all took a second to relax. It was getting late in the evening and none of us really had any sleep. I for one was starving. I hadn't eaten anything for close to 24 hours. I had a whole menu to choose from at this hospital, and it all looked so good! So naturally I ordered a lot of it :) The mashed potatoes, ravioli pasta, apple juice, and a berry smoothie are what I remember the most out of my cluster of random dishes. So good.

I needed food bad because I felt my body going into shock. I was shaking like mad! I couldn't stop shaking if I tried! I was fine, but I was just surprised by that. Makes sense though! I just went through the hardest thing my body has ever experienced! It was brought to my attention pretty quickly that I was now in recovery mode. Lots of physical recovery was ahead of me, but I needed emotional recovery too! Everything was just so overwhelming. 

The nurses helped get me ready to head out to the recovery room, where we would be staying for the next day or so. It was probably getting close to 8:00 and we were ready for sleep.  Mom and Ashley decided to spend the night at home, and they would join us again the next morning. 

Our little family getting wheeled out! My legs were still numb from the epidural and I couldn't walk quite yet. But I was totally fine with getting special treatment from my hubs  :) 

You know that feeling that people talk about after they have babies, when they get home and have a "what do we do now" moment? Well, I had that moment that night. After we got to the recovery room and were all situated, I noticed that Steve and I were now the only people in the room. Our nurses that had helped us all were gone, Laura had left, and Mom and Ashley were driving home.  It was literally just Steve and I.  We would be having someone check on us every two hours for that night, but that was it! It was just a weird feeling because we went from about 6 people helping us, to none in an instant. And I got a little worried! What if I did something wrong?!  What if  I didn't feed him enough, or what if he needed me and I wouldn't wake up because I was so tired. More "what if's" ran through my head. But when I saw Steve holding him on the little couch by the window, all my fears left me! 

I had Steve with me to take care of this little spirit. I wasn't alone! We had each other and more importantly we had Heavenly Father with us. He trusted us to take care of his innocent little spirit, and He knew that we would do anything for Graham! I just needed to be reminded of that and have faith in myself that I know what I am doing. Our parenting instincts kicked in that night as we took turns rocking him, burping him, and changing his diaper :) And though we didn't sleep much, we had a wonderful time together as a family. 

The next morning was very busy! While doctor after doctor, and nurse after nurse came in to take our vitals, give us shots, and do basic screening and tests. At this rate we were going to be ready to leave the hospital around 6:00 that evening! Yahoo!! Poor Steve messed up his back while sleeping on the couch in our room. So we were happy to be in our own bed that night. 

Mom and Ashley joined us that morning and we spent it admiring Graham, dressing him up, and brushing that long beautiful hair! I love it so much haha! I ordered more food from the hospital menu, and we had a fun time trying out all the different dishes they had. Of course I ordered a lot haha. We spent the day time Skyping our families again, and we had Joel and Abby visit us to meet Graham! It was so fun to share him with them all!! 

Theres one super happy Daddy! 

All ready to go home! 

Well, that's it for now. The spare moment I'm using to write this all down, is up. Graham needs me :) I didn't leave out much from the story because I want to remember as much as I can! This day was so special to me. It's been almost three weeks since this all happened and our lives have changed so much! Steve and I are so lucky to be called parents to Graham. As hard as labor was for me, it was the most rewarding thing I have ever done. This might be the end of my labor experience, but our life with Graham has only begun!! 

My Labor Experience: Part 2

We came into the emergency room at 3:00 am on Sunday the 27th. I walked around the hospital doors  outside, while Steve got us checked in. I was amazed how walking got me through contractions easier! As long as I kept walking through a contraction, I never had to stop and squeeze someones arm for a solid 60 seconds. 

We got sent up to the labor and delivery unit of the hospital, and they had us wait in the triage room to see if I was far enough along to be admitted. Luckily I had already dilated 2 cm before I started labor, so at least I had that under my belt. They checked me and I was at 3 cm and almost 100% effaced. They told us we were there to stay! Yay! 

Waiting to be checked in the triage room and still in the mood to smile!

Sadly, your contractions don't stop when you want them to. Having to sit on the bed the whole time in triage was pretty crummy. I was feeling desperate to stand up, since that felt better than sitting down. But focusing on breathing helped a little. Look at Steve helping me through that contraction! I was probably squeezing his hand like crazy. He's amazing. 

They took us out of triage and sent us to the delivery room, where my midwife was waiting for me! Laura is her name. We loved her! She is so stinkin' cute and super personable. I was so excited that she was the one on call that night because she is one of my favorites in the practice! I was so impressed that she stayed with me for almost all of my labor experience. We also had a nurse in the room and she was great, but Laura lead our team so well! I can't imagine going through labor without her there supporting us through everything. 

Once we got settled in the delivery room, my pain level went from bad to worse....much worse. Laura helped me get my monitoring set up and then suggested that we get moving again. I put on my fluffy pink slippers, and she led us out to the hallways to walk. The labor unit was dead! It felt like no one was there except for us. I think there may have been one other delivery at the hospital the same time as me. But looking back, it was nice not to have people gawking at me as I waddled around the halls in pain. 

The walking was getting harder to keep up though. The contractions were starting to scream at me in the halls, and they were happening so frequently too! This is when I realized what a killer pain labor is. This was really, really starting to kill me. My abdomen still felt like it was on fire. But that imaginary knife got ten times sharper and it was digging now! I just couldn't keep walking anymore and insisted that we go back to the room. But I had to stop and take a lot of breaks on the way back. I was getting close to squeezing the arms off of whoever was with me. I had been in labor a total of 4 hours and Laura guessed that I was probably in active labor now based on my pain level. Once we got back to the room Laura checked me and I was at 4 cm. Progressing? Yes! Quickly enough for me? NO! Still worth it? Absolutely. 

Me giving my best grin with Mom in between contractions. One of my last smiley moments most likely. She was so excited, can you tell? :) 

Despite everything, I wanted to be level headed during the hard contractions. Things were starting to get very difficult, and I was trying really hard to be tough. I was determined to see how far I could go, and I wanted to give unmediated labor a good shot. There was absolutely no talking during the contractions. But for the short time in between them, I found it was therapeutic to keep things light hearted. Actually, I think I began to get a little loopy from the pain, and I could tell I was not quite myself! I was making all sorts of jokes, and everyone thought it was hilarious! Hearing everyone laugh took my mind off of things, and honestly I think that was a huge coping strategy for me. But then another contraction would come, and all of my focus would be geared towards managing through it...again...somehow. 

Laura and Steve helping me through a hard contraction. We had been standing for almost two hours, we were all getting tired. Definitely regretted not going to bed earlier that night. Standing was the best way for me to cope, but my legs were really getting exhausted from standing. It was suggested that maybe the tub would help give me relief, and it would also give my legs a break. That sounded like a good idea to me! 

Okay, pretty sure this was my last "try and stay happy" moment. I guess after I jumped in the tub, I turned to Steve and asked him if he was jealous! Jealous of the huge jacuzzi tub I got to "relax" in. 

Three or four contractions after I got in the tub, my contractions turned horrid. Just. Down. Right. Terrible. Trying to explain what this level of pain felt like seems impossible, because it is just so intense. I was getting torn apart, at least I felt like it. I don't remember much from this part of labor because all I could think about was trying to keep it together. I was trying so hard to be strong, and I still wouldn't give up so easy. So I stayed in the tub for while, hoping I would find a position that would help. Everyone had a job at this point. And if anyone stopped doing their job, even for a second, I felt like I would completely lose it! 

Wow, these people did so much for me. Mom was just so sympathetic because she knew what I was going through. She didn't have to say much, but I felt her love and sympathy just by her touch! It was beautiful! And Ashley is my number one supporter in anything, next to Steve :) Having her there gave me another sense of strength I didn't know I had in me. Cheesy to say, but it really must be a twin thing. And Steve was the best of them all. He was my rock. He calmed all my fears and showed me that I was strong. He believed in me 100%, and I felt his love so intensely! Couldn't have done this without him!

Still in the tub, the contractions kept on coming. Closer together and lasted longer and longer. Any positive thinking had gone out the door for me. I was desperate to recover in between contractions, but then another one would hit me and it just killed! I was crying now, and I didn't like that my tolerance was wearing so thin. I had been laboring for 6 hours and I was so SO tired! The option of an epidural wasn't ruled out for me, but I had been putting it off to see how far I could take it. And yup, it was getting pretty close to that breaking point.

I decided it was time. I wanted my epidural! In my experience of labor, the pain was running faster than any kind of relief. Do I think that I gave up? No way! I listened to my body, and it was telling me that my energy was running out. I needed energy for when it was time to push, and at the rate I was progressing it could be hours till it was that time. I thought it over through two more contractions, and then I slapped the side of the tub and told Laura that I needed the epidural! Hands up! Laura thought it was so funny. She says that I "tapped out" haha.

Everything went by so fast after that! I remember my mom repeating me, "Okay she want's an epidural!" haha. They helped me out of the tub and got me all ready for the anesthesiologist.  I was checked one last time before he came in, to see how far I had progressed since 4 cm. These contractions must have done something since they nearly killed me! I decided that if I was close, like at an 8 or 9, then I would tough out the rest of labor unmedicated. I was checked and......4.5cm. WHAT?! Now it was official. I needed that epidural now! Especially if only an hour brought me up half a centimeter!

It felt like only minutes before the anesthesiologist rolled his equipment into the room.  It was like the best Christmas present ever!! I had another contraction while he was giving me the low down on what was going to happen, trust me when I say I was ready to just get things started. When I signed the consent forms, Steve saw that I signed my first name followed by a smiley face!? I didn't bother to even put my last name down! Like, I said I was totally out of it. Haha!

Needles don't scare me too much, but I have always been really nervous about getting an epidural. But when your in that much pain, you don't care if its going to sting a little haha. It honestly wasn't bad at all! He said it was going to feel like a bee stinging my back at first, and it did which was interesting. I could feel him putting the tube in my back and it felt weird. I might have been uncomfortable, but it never hurt. The worst part was having another contraction while he was putting it in, and he told me I needed to stay as still as I could while sitting there. That was by far the worst contraction I had. But I think that was the strongest I had been in all 6 hours of labor. I had Steve sitting in front of me with my hands in his, and that was such an intimate moment for me. He was giving me so much strength just by being there and holding my hands tightly. I love him so much! I'm sure it killed him to see me crying like that in front of him, but he stayed strong for me. And plus it was all going to be gone soon!!

During this time, Ashley had been watching and I guess she had to leave the room!! Haha! She had been so fascinated by everything so far, but when she saw a needle sticking out of my back she just couldn't stomach it. She eventually came back in after walking it off in a couple different hallways. I don't remember because I was a little preoccupied, but I thought that was a cute detail :)

Once the medicine started running through the tube I had instant releif! Any contractions after that were hardly felt, if felt at all! It was seriously amazing! I was so happy the pain was over, as far as I knew. Everything leading up to the epidural was super hard, but I was very pleased at how everything went. I was able to experience the pain associated with labor, and I gained a huge appreciation for it. But I was still happy I chose to go with an epidural because I knew that is what my body needed. I was tough and I knew I gave it my best, and that's all I wanted :)

Moments after getting the epidural. So exhausted but so happy. 

Trying to get some rest after almost 24 hours of no sleep! 

After sleeping for a couple hours, I woke up around 10 am.  That sleep helped so much, even if it only was only a little bit. I felt so much more aware of what was going on with this labor. It was comforting to know that when it was time to get the baby out, I would be able to have all my focus collected again. Now it was just a waiting game. Earlier I had been checked after I had been given the epidural and I had progressed to 5 cm. I got checked again after I woke up, and I was at a 6. Sheesh! Graham was taking his sweet time wasn't he! 

We waited more. Every hour or so I got checked, and I was progressing pretty slowly. As I sat in bed, I tried to fall asleep again but I only managed to take one more little nap that lasted maybe 40 minutes. Steve, Mom, and Ashley all tried to sleep but I don't think they got much of that either. The epidural was working wonderfully, but it wasn't meant to take away the contractions fully. I still was able to notice when I was having one, and there were times where the epidural would wear off a bit and I would need to push my epidural booster button! I actually got in trouble by my nurse because I pressed it too many times haha. Even though your booster button wont let you overdose, if you press it too much you might take away all the feeling in your lower section. And I needed to be able to notice my contractions for when it was time to push. 

Just waiting with Ash :) 

Around noon my Mom was thinking it might be a good idea to break my water, in hopes of that helping labor speed up a bit! Laura came in to check on me soon after and she suggested breaking my water too! So Laura broke my water and it totally felt like I peed the bed! Just like what they say :) 

A little while after, I noticed a weird feeling of pressure. I looked at my belly and I also noticed that Graham had descended.  He was so low and my belly looked a lot different!  After a couple hours that pressure had built up a lot. It was really hard to ignore it now. This must have been pushing urges I was feeling! I was thrilled about that, because this was partly why I wanted to go un-numbed originally. I really wanted to feel this part of labor! And even if it's only a fraction of what it really feels like, at least I felt something! I thought that maybe the epidural stopped working because I expected to be in the dark when it came to pushing. I was totally surprised and very happy! 

Laura checked me once more at 3:00 and I was finally, finally dilated to 10 cm!!!! We were all so ready and so excited! She started by asking me to do some practice pushes. The time had come!