We came into the emergency room at 3:00 am on Sunday the 27th. I walked around the hospital doors outside, while Steve got us checked in. I was amazed how walking got me through contractions easier! As long as I kept walking through a contraction, I never had to stop and squeeze someones arm for a solid 60 seconds.
We got sent up to the labor and delivery unit of the hospital, and they had us wait in the triage room to see if I was far enough along to be admitted. Luckily I had already dilated 2 cm before I started labor, so at least I had that under my belt. They checked me and I was at 3 cm and almost 100% effaced. They told us we were there to stay! Yay!
Waiting to be checked in the triage room and still in the mood to smile!
Sadly, your contractions don't stop when you want them to. Having to sit on the bed the whole time in triage was pretty crummy. I was feeling desperate to stand up, since that felt better than sitting down. But focusing on breathing helped a little. Look at Steve helping me through that contraction! I was probably squeezing his hand like crazy. He's amazing.
They took us out of triage and sent us to the delivery room, where my midwife was waiting for me! Laura is her name. We loved her! She is so stinkin' cute and super personable. I was so excited that she was the one on call that night because she is one of my favorites in the practice! I was so impressed that she stayed with me for almost all of my labor experience. We also had a nurse in the room and she was great, but Laura lead our team so well! I can't imagine going through labor without her there supporting us through everything.
Once we got settled in the delivery room, my pain level went from bad to worse....much worse. Laura helped me get my monitoring set up and then suggested that we get moving again. I put on my fluffy pink slippers, and she led us out to the hallways to walk. The labor unit was dead! It felt like no one was there except for us. I think there may have been one other delivery at the hospital the same time as me. But looking back, it was nice not to have people gawking at me as I waddled around the halls in pain.
The walking was getting harder to keep up though. The contractions were starting to scream at me in the halls, and they were happening so frequently too! This is when I realized what a killer pain labor is. This was really, really starting to kill me. My abdomen still felt like it was on fire. But that imaginary knife got ten times sharper and it was digging now! I just couldn't keep walking anymore and insisted that we go back to the room. But I had to stop and take a lot of breaks on the way back. I was getting close to squeezing the arms off of whoever was with me. I had been in labor a total of 4 hours and Laura guessed that I was probably in active labor now based on my pain level. Once we got back to the room Laura checked me and I was at 4 cm. Progressing? Yes! Quickly enough for me? NO! Still worth it? Absolutely.
Me giving my best grin with Mom in between contractions. One of my last smiley moments most likely. She was so excited, can you tell? :)
Despite everything, I wanted to be level headed during the hard contractions. Things were starting to get very difficult, and I was trying really hard to be tough. I was determined to see how far I could go, and I wanted to give unmediated labor a good shot. There was absolutely no talking during the contractions. But for the short time in between them, I found it was therapeutic to keep things light hearted. Actually, I think I began to get a little loopy from the pain, and I could tell I was not quite myself! I was making all sorts of jokes, and everyone thought it was hilarious! Hearing everyone laugh took my mind off of things, and honestly I think that was a huge coping strategy for me. But then another contraction would come, and all of my focus would be geared towards managing through it...again...somehow.
Laura and Steve helping me through a hard contraction. We had been standing for almost two hours, we were all getting tired. Definitely regretted not going to bed earlier that night. Standing was the best way for me to cope, but my legs were really getting exhausted from standing. It was suggested that maybe the tub would help give me relief, and it would also give my legs a break. That sounded like a good idea to me!
Okay, pretty sure this was my last "try and stay happy" moment. I guess after I jumped in the tub, I turned to Steve and asked him if he was jealous! Jealous of the huge jacuzzi tub I got to "relax" in.
Three or four contractions after I got in the tub, my contractions turned horrid. Just. Down. Right. Terrible. Trying to explain what this level of pain felt like seems impossible, because it is just so intense. I was getting torn apart, at least I felt like it. I don't remember much from this part of labor because all I could think about was trying to keep it together. I was trying so hard to be strong, and I still wouldn't give up so easy. So I stayed in the tub for while, hoping I would find a position that would help. Everyone had a job at this point. And if anyone stopped doing their job, even for a second, I felt like I would completely lose it!
Still in the tub, the contractions kept on coming. Closer together and lasted longer and longer. Any positive thinking had gone out the door for me. I was desperate to recover in between contractions, but then another one would hit me and it just killed! I was crying now, and I didn't like that my tolerance was wearing so thin. I had been laboring for 6 hours and I was so SO tired! The option of an epidural wasn't ruled out for me, but I had been putting it off to see how far I could take it. And yup, it was getting pretty close to that breaking point.
I decided it was time. I wanted my epidural! In my experience of labor, the pain was running faster than any kind of relief. Do I think that I gave up? No way! I listened to my body, and it was telling me that my energy was running out. I needed energy for when it was time to push, and at the rate I was progressing it could be hours till it was that time. I thought it over through two more contractions, and then I slapped the side of the tub and told Laura that I needed the epidural! Hands up! Laura thought it was so funny. She says that I "tapped out" haha.
Everything went by so fast after that! I remember my mom repeating me, "Okay she want's an epidural!" haha. They helped me out of the tub and got me all ready for the anesthesiologist. I was checked one last time before he came in, to see how far I had progressed since 4 cm. These contractions must have done something since they nearly killed me! I decided that if I was close, like at an 8 or 9, then I would tough out the rest of labor unmedicated. I was checked and......4.5cm. WHAT?! Now it was official. I needed that epidural now! Especially if only an hour brought me up half a centimeter!
It felt like only minutes before the anesthesiologist rolled his equipment into the room. It was like the best Christmas present ever!! I had another contraction while he was giving me the low down on what was going to happen, trust me when I say I was ready to just get things started. When I signed the consent forms, Steve saw that I signed my first name followed by a smiley face!? I didn't bother to even put my last name down! Like, I said I was totally out of it. Haha!
Needles don't scare me too much, but I have always been really nervous about getting an epidural. But when your in that much pain, you don't care if its going to sting a little haha. It honestly wasn't bad at all! He said it was going to feel like a bee stinging my back at first, and it did which was interesting. I could feel him putting the tube in my back and it felt weird. I might have been uncomfortable, but it never hurt. The worst part was having another contraction while he was putting it in, and he told me I needed to stay as still as I could while sitting there. That was by far the worst contraction I had. But I think that was the strongest I had been in all 6 hours of labor. I had Steve sitting in front of me with my hands in his, and that was such an intimate moment for me. He was giving me so much strength just by being there and holding my hands tightly. I love him so much! I'm sure it killed him to see me crying like that in front of him, but he stayed strong for me. And plus it was all going to be gone soon!!
During this time, Ashley had been watching and I guess she had to leave the room!! Haha! She had been so fascinated by everything so far, but when she saw a needle sticking out of my back she just couldn't stomach it. She eventually came back in after walking it off in a couple different hallways. I don't remember because I was a little preoccupied, but I thought that was a cute detail :)
Once the medicine started running through the tube I had instant releif! Any contractions after that were hardly felt, if felt at all! It was seriously amazing! I was so happy the pain was over, as far as I knew. Everything leading up to the epidural was super hard, but I was very pleased at how everything went. I was able to experience the pain associated with labor, and I gained a huge appreciation for it. But I was still happy I chose to go with an epidural because I knew that is what my body needed. I was tough and I knew I gave it my best, and that's all I wanted :)
Moments after getting the epidural. So exhausted but so happy.
Trying to get some rest after almost 24 hours of no sleep!
After sleeping for a couple hours, I woke up around 10 am. That sleep helped so much, even if it only was only a little bit. I felt so much more aware of what was going on with this labor. It was comforting to know that when it was time to get the baby out, I would be able to have all my focus collected again. Now it was just a waiting game. Earlier I had been checked after I had been given the epidural and I had progressed to 5 cm. I got checked again after I woke up, and I was at a 6. Sheesh! Graham was taking his sweet time wasn't he!
We waited more. Every hour or so I got checked, and I was progressing pretty slowly. As I sat in bed, I tried to fall asleep again but I only managed to take one more little nap that lasted maybe 40 minutes. Steve, Mom, and Ashley all tried to sleep but I don't think they got much of that either. The epidural was working wonderfully, but it wasn't meant to take away the contractions fully. I still was able to notice when I was having one, and there were times where the epidural would wear off a bit and I would need to push my epidural booster button! I actually got in trouble by my nurse because I pressed it too many times haha. Even though your booster button wont let you overdose, if you press it too much you might take away all the feeling in your lower section. And I needed to be able to notice my contractions for when it was time to push.
Just waiting with Ash :)
Around noon my Mom was thinking it might be a good idea to break my water, in hopes of that helping labor speed up a bit! Laura came in to check on me soon after and she suggested breaking my water too! So Laura broke my water and it totally felt like I peed the bed! Just like what they say :)
A little while after, I noticed a weird feeling of pressure. I looked at my belly and I also noticed that Graham had descended. He was so low and my belly looked a lot different! After a couple hours that pressure had built up a lot. It was really hard to ignore it now. This must have been pushing urges I was feeling! I was thrilled about that, because this was partly why I wanted to go un-numbed originally. I really wanted to feel this part of labor! And even if it's only a fraction of what it really feels like, at least I felt something! I thought that maybe the epidural stopped working because I expected to be in the dark when it came to pushing. I was totally surprised and very happy!
Laura checked me once more at 3:00 and I was finally, finally dilated to 10 cm!!!! We were all so ready and so excited! She started by asking me to do some practice pushes. The time had come!
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